sciencescribbler:

Discipline can be hard in a cg/l relationship, especially when one partner is not used to it. It doesn’t really matter if it’s the little or the the caregiver, because both partners need to understand what is a reasonable or unreasonable way to discipline…and they also need to understand that discipline isn’t about cruelty, manipulation, etc, it’s about actually fulfilling the roles that the partners agree upon and might rather desperately crave. 

So here are a FEW tips, even if they aren’t absolutely comprehensive, that might make your CG/L relationship a big easier to understand. 

• An obvious first point…AFTERCARE. ALWAYS AFTERCARE. WHETHER YOUR PUNISHMENT WAS A “SCENE” OR SEXUAL OR W/E, AFTER-motherfucking-CARE.
• ‘Discipline’ isn’t the same as punishment. Discipline is sometimes just a talk. Sometimes it’s a punishment. And sometimes, it’s admitting you might be the REASON your little isn’t acting well…and you owe them an apology. 
• If a little feels neglected, they might act out for your attention. If that might be the case? Less punishment, more apologizing and helping to make them feel better so they DON’T WANT to act out! When they get affection instead of a punishment, they might just love you even more. 
• DO NOT DISCIPLINE FOR DUMB THINGS. How the HELL do I need to say this aloud?. If your little has anxiety problems, and throws a fit because you try going out to a party with lots of strangers, THAT ISN’T SOMETHING THEY SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR. THEY SAID “I DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE” AND YOU IGNORED THEM. SO WHY WOULD THEY GET PUNISHED?
• Aftercare.
• Give warnings. First warning? That’s a brief, quiet reminder to behave. Second one? Tell them they are on their last warning, and the third strike will be a punishment. And tell them what the punishment will be. Third strike? Well then actually follow through.
• Safewords ALWAYS work. Even during punishment. If you ignore someone’s safe word? Well…I can’t properly describe the things I think you deserve, but needless to say it probably involves a porcupine doing dirty, quill-covered damage to your urethra while you pass kidney stones the size of walnuts. 
• Have I mentioned the amazingly important concept of AFTERCARE yet?
• Punishments should be appropriately severe. Basically, if your little ignored bedtime by half an hour, it’s not crazy to send them to be half an hour early the next night. But if they ignored bedtime by half an hour and that earned them fifty spankings and an hour in the corner…you might not have a good grasp of what ‘appropriate response’ means. 
• Respect boundaries. If the little is afraid of impact play, even if it’s not a HARD limit, then a punishment of flogging or something fairly severe is pretty much too far. Even if they did something kinda big very badly….that might just bee too much for them to handle. 
• Here’s one particular point for the littles reading, not just the caregivers: Don’t make it into an ordeal. Sometimes a quick spanking will genuinely make the little feel better if they don’t realize they’re being a brat…and it might not have to be a huge mess or big problem. 
• Another one for the littles…don’t pretend you never get bratty or act out. Sometimes, a caregiver understands and is ok with it. Sometimes, they really do think you need a bit of discipline. Maybe, just maybe, you can trust your caregiver. And if you don’t think you can? Well…that probably means something bigger than whether or not it’s a fair punishment. That means maybe this dynamic needs work. Or a change.
• Last but not least, AFTERCARE. AFTERCARE AFTERCARE AFTERCARE. NOW SAT IT WITH ME PEOPLE: 

AFTER FRIGGIN’ CARE

I hope you agree, and think this stuff helps you or your partner or your friends understand discipline a bit better! Thanks for reading!

-Sciencescribbler